Teams Of Our Lady - Frequently Asked Questions

Teams of Our Lady USA - Equipe de Notre Dame

Frequently Asked Questions

Do we have to share personal or intimate details about ourselves and our marriage with the Team?

No. Sharing of personal information is always voluntary--this is not an "encounter group". Over time, the couples in a Team find a level of trust building that encourages deeper sharing of their spiritual and practical lives. It is, however, necessary for each Team member to share on his or her progress with the practice of the endeavors--this is part of the T.O.O.L. ideal of mutual help.

How serious a commitment is a commitment to a Team and/or to the practice of the endeavors?

Serious, but not solemn. The Teams commitments are freely undertaken, "no one is forced to come, or forced to stay... in order to attain the common end they seek, each of the participants agrees to "play the game" faithfully, in accordance with the rules of their community".

What happens if I don't like or get along with the people in my Team?

During the initial or piloting stage, you will get to know the other Team members and slowly begin to put into practice the spiritual endeavors as you learn more about the movement. A couple is free to choose not to make a formal commitment to the Team at the end of piloting--or in fact, may choose not to complete piloting after a short initial period of commitment.

How did the T.O.O.L. movement start? Why haven't I heard of it before?

The T.O.O.L. movement has been in this country since the 1950's, beginning in the Washington, D.C., New York and California about the same time and spreading slowly around the country. It tends to "spread quietly"--from one couple to another. Also, since it is a somewhat intense effort to form, pilot, and support small groups, it takes time.

What does the Pope/Bishop/Pastor think of the T. O. O. L. movement? Are the materials approved by the Church? Is this an "orthodox" movement? Conservative? Liberal?

The T.O.O.L. movement is approved by the Vatican. We have a Decree of Recognition issued by the Pontifical
Council for the Laity. The founding documents were submitted to the Vatican to obtain this approval: the
Charter, the What is a Team of Our Lady, the "early years" study materials. The T.O.O.L leadership works
to keep in touch with the bishops and family life offices of the dioceses in which Teams are active.

The couples interested in and involved in Teams are alike in their desire to grow in married spirituality--but beyond that, they are as varied as the people in the Catholic Church are. With its emphasis primarily on the practice of prayer, the movement itself is neither conservative nor liberal.

Is the T. O. O. L. movement good for troubled marriages?

T.O.O.L. is a movement for solid, sacramental, growing marriages. All marriages struggle at times--but T.O.O.L. is not for "troubled" marriages. There are good programs for those couples, such as Retrouvaille.

Can children attend the Team meetings?

Naturally, most Teams allow nursing infants, but generally, children do not attend the monthly Team meetings. The meeting atmosphere should be free of distractions. Arrangements for childcare are made with this in mind. Some Teams have tried various shared babysitter arrangements. It generally does not work to have all the children in the same home as the meeting--nor can any of the Team members do the babysitting. The T.O.O.L. movement is for couples. The children benefit from their parent's spiritual growth. Children are often invited to attend various social events of the Team and the local movement.

Is this the same as Christian Family Movement, or Renew, or... ?

Each of these movements has a unique and particular way to enrich the spiritual lives of the participants. T.O.O.L. is a movement for married couples, emphasizing their sacramental spirituality, with the mutual help of a Team, and concrete, common objectives and practices (the endeavors).

Do the individual Teams as a group do any outreach or service in the community?

No. The Teams of Our Lady movement does not have an apostolate as a movement--the movement itself witnesses to the possibilities of Christian marriage and holiness, but the actual apostolates are to be undertaken by individual participants as they see fit. The What is a Teams of Our Lady document states that "Teams of Our Lady, even though…not a movement for action… nevertheless, a Movement of active people."

Without an apostolate, do the Teams get very tumed in on themselves? How about the movement as a whole?

The movement is structured in such a way that the larger T.O.O.L. community stays in touch with the individual Team. Each couple, then, recognizes that they are of a larger community. The movement organizes large group events at different levels to encourage wide participation and allow Team members to meet couples in other Teams. Also, the Teams responsibility to hospitality is intended to be practiced not only to other T.O.O.L. members, but to the whole world--the couple is to "bear effective witness of Christ's love, especially by acceptance of ecclesiastical and civic duties." (What is a Teams of Our Lady document).

The Endeavors sound overwhelming...the structure sounds so rigid. Is there any flexibility?

The Endeavors are taken on one at a time during piloting. They are a challenge in just the same way that the call to Christian holiness is a challenge. Spiritual growth is a discipline, but also a gift of grace from God. The Endeavors leave room for individual styles of prayer and devotion.

The structure of the meetings, though it seems inflexible, allows the unique personality of each Team to come through.

Is this an intellectual movement?

Fully initiated (confirmed) Christians have a duty to continue to study the faith. Study need not be "intellectual" or boring. The T.O.O.L. materials focus primarily on married spirituality and so have a practical approach to be studied and lived. Many good spiritual books are available for study that are easy to understand, inspirational, practical. Intelligent without being intellectual, you might say.

Will I be in a Team with the same people I meet in the Information meeting?

Not necessarily. Information meetings are given on a regular basis and people interested in T.O.O.L. attend when they are able to. The Teams are formed when enough couples are interested--and based on such factors as location, age/stage of life, etc.

Problems with this page? Contact the webmaster

Latest revision date: March 3, 2008